Tuesday, June 3, 2008

One minute, one step at a time

I apologize for the depressing tone of my last post. I don't usually give into my frustrations and depressing thoughts this often except to God (and mom lol). This outlet is helping me deal with all those emotions, so I appreciate ya'll letting me vent.

Yesterday's update. The Children's Mental Health Services (CMHS) case manager came over and she was really nice.

Yes, I did get my house pretty clean! Side story...Dar and I were supposed to go to a grad party for most of the afternoon on Sunday. We got into a stupid argument and he wouldn't go, so I said I wouldn't go if he didn't. He went upstairs and Cassie walked to her friend's party. I was grumbling to God and He said to me, "Well, you did say you needed a chance to get your house clean, didn't you?" I had to chuckle because, of course, He is always right and He has a GREAT sense of humor! So I spent the next hour until we made up in a cleaning frenzy! lol

Anyway, Gretta, the case manager, congratulated us on having all the appointments made that we do. Part of what she does is help families get those appointments made, and we were a step ahead of the game. She said that we are being very proactive. :-)

One of the frustrations we've been having in our home is that Cassie ONLY wants to hang out with her friends (at least they're the friends we like and trust), and she thinks that we are expecting too much family time. On our end, we feel like she's always with her friends and we are getting barely any time at all with her. We went fishing with the kids on Saturday morning, and that was family time, but of course, she had a friend with her. She says Felicia is like a second daughter to us, so it was still "family time". LOL. That's my Cassie...always an answer/argument for everything. We also watched a family movie on Saturday night, but she left in the middle of it. She was staying at a friend's house on Monday while I worked and so she spent the night and the friend needed to pick her up before the movie was done. So our point is that when we do get family time, there's friends either there, or interrupting it. Her point is that we should just be grateful for the time we get with her? Seemed like we were at an impasse anyway. Gretta suggested that we set a day or two each week that is designated family time and that way Cassie will know ahead of time and can plan around it. I thought that was a great idea that I'd never thought of! So we're going to do that as well as set up a couple of days a week that are friend time, so we can plan around that. Hopefully that will help with this constant argument.

Cassie will have a diagnostic done for CMHS by the psychiatrist in August and that will determine what needs to happen next. They'll do a "plan" with Cassie based on that, set goals, set supervision, etc. Until then Gretta will meet with Cassie once a month and at least talk to Dar and/or I on the phone that often as well. She'll also be going to court with us next Tuesday.

After Gretta left, Dar and I went to Mankato while Cassie stayed with Becky again. I went with him to his second job and then we went out for a late supper at Applebee's (1/2 price apps after 9pm! We were there at 10:30. lol) So it was nice to spend that time together.

Today Cassie and I met with Crime Victim Services. Jessica (the advocate with CVS) talked with Cassie for about 20 minutes alone. That is frustrating to me because it's all "confidential" and I can't know what they talk about unless Cassie chooses to tell me, which, of course, she won't. I want so badly to help her, but can't unless she opens up to us. I did talk to Jessica afterwards alone, and she told me to be patient. She said it's good for Cassie to have a third party to talk to since she won't talk to us because she needs to get it out somehow. And I know that, it's just that it's hard to know what to do for her when we don't know what's going on inside that head of hers. She did say that she wants to file a report if we find out we can.

So Jessica is going to get a copy of the police report from North Mankato for us and see if we can file a report on John. She's also going to see if she can find out if in fact he was in jail for statutory rape. If so, that might "encourage" the police to investigate this case once we file. So that part is helpful. Dar and I have not done anything, really, about pursuing the charges simply because we did not know what to do and couldn't find anyone else who knew either. So this helps push us in that direction.

That's about it. I ended up not going to Waseca to work on Monday after all, but I am going there tomorrow. I'll be working from 8:30 to 1 at the paper there and then going to Mankato to get our groceries for the week. Then as soon as Dar gets home we head up to the Cities for the Twins game. Dar got free tickets from his boss at his main job. We're in like the 18th row between 3rd & home, so they're good seats! Now we just hope they win! :-) I'm going to call one of Cassie's friend's mom's and see if Cassie can stay with them tomorrow night so we can have a worry-free date.

Specific prayer requests:
* Continued direction from God as to which steps to take and when, so we can help Cassie.
* For peace of mind for me (you can tell I'm really struggling right now with my emotions)
* For court to go well on Tuesday and for peace of mind for us as we try not to worry about it.
* That the healing work that God began in Cassie's mind and heart on Sunday would continue to completion. We believe He touched her on Sunday night and that she opened up her heart to Him some, so we pray that it continues and that she continues to be open to Him.
* For Christopher. We've had a couple of family members offer to do special things with him and we SO appreciate that! He'll be excited to spend time with you and it's good for him to get a break from all of our drama. Next week is his birthday and we've got court two days before and he's got a dentist appointment the day before his birthday. Poor kid! I'm trying to think of ways to make his birthday extra special for him.

Thanks again. You're all a blessing to us and we appreciate you. Our God is amazing and wonderful and we give Him ALL the glory and credit for every good thing in our lives, and that includes all of you! :-)


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