Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Walking with Jesus

I went for a walk tonight. A very long walk. Part of it was function (had to drop off a deposit in the night box at the bank and return a couple of movies to Redbox), part of it was for exercise, and part of it was for mental rejuvination. I'd say all three were accomplished, to some extent.

Along the way I asked God to show Himself, to walk with me, hold me by my right hand, wrap His mighty arms around me and show me that He has me, my family, and our situation, all in the palm of His hand. He reminded me that "when you walk through the waters, I will be there", and that "Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age", and that "you will seek Me, and you will find Me, when you seek Me with all of your heart". I can't tell you exact book & verse of any of those Scriptures, but they are in my heart, where they belong, and He brought them to mind when I needed to hear them. He's so good that way.

I was walking along, looking at the ground, scanning the trash there (you never know when you'll find something of value!) and He whispered into my heart that if I sought Him that way, checked out everything, hoping it might be something of Him, that I'd find more of Him. So I began to look up. I saw a tree...obviously of God; He created it. lol. I heard the birds singing; again, obviously of God. Another walker passed me and greeted me with friendly words and a smile; I believe that's of God too...all good gifts come from the Father above. :-) I saw a street sign with the word "live" in it. It brought to mind a song..."He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives today. He walks with me and talks with me, along life's narrow way. He lives, He lives, salvation to impart. You ask me how I know He lives, He lives within my heart."

Hmmm...some might say that's a stretch (a street sign? from God?) But...the song perfectly fit my request and my actions of the moment, so yes, I believe it's from Him. To doubt that would be to put God in a box, saying He can only speak through the profound, the beautiful, and not the ordinary, everyday things. He's too big to put in a box.

It was a rough day today. Work was stressful with added responsibilities and a lack of energy (still catching up from three weeks with a newborn in the house!). My daughter is, and possibly always will be, challenging every word, every thought, every moment of our days...it is exhausting. I worry, about how to handle this new diagnosis of mental illness, how to keep her safe, how to handle the crisis of last week, how to handle the upcoming summer with it's lack of structure yet busyness of schedules. I find so many, many things to worry about. Life is hard right now. I'm not even trying to put on the "happy, Super-Christian" face. I just don't have the physical, spiritual, or emotional energy to do so. So this is what I am, this is how I feel, and that's just the way it is right now.

And yet, through it all, God is good. God is present. He is my ever present help in time of need. And He speaks to me (and to you). He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Look up, listen, He is whispering to all of us, loving us, holding us through our trials. Try to keep your eyes on Him, I know I'll be trying to do the same.

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